breastfeeding

    I know I have touched on this subject before, but I want to tell you how much I live it and why.

    First it's really the only thing I can do for my son that none else can. Others can put him to sleep, play with him, read to him, and cuddle him. But only I can breastfeed him. It's gives me a essence of power, that I can do this for my son, that he looks forward to this moment throughout the day and night. That I am his firm of comfort when he is sad.

    I have noticed recently that he shares the most with me in these intimate moments, because that's where he feels the most comfort and the most secure.

    Two days ago he showed me what I like to call "tricks", and this happened right after a feeding when he is still laying in my arms. He was trying to blow, not blow bubble, just blow, and after a couple tries here was able to. Before this I had never seen him try, and after every new thing he shows me I tell him how proud I am, and what a good job he is doing.

    Today he talked me ear off, and if you could tell I want paying attention he would pat me or make a noise so I would look at him, and when he was certain I was paying attention he would continue.

    It's in these moments that he is sharing with me his thoughts and feeling, it's in my arms that he lets me he loves me. Yes I know he can't talk yet, but you can tell by the way he gabbers that he loves me.

    There are moments where I wish I could just walk away because I am having a bad day, but when I look back I can only ever remember the good.